You get the car...

when I was about 20
I would drive out into the country
sometimes with a friend
sometimes just alone
I would arm myself with three or four joints
a bottle of soda
and maybe a small bag of chips for after the joints did there thing
I would munch chips sip my soda
and just contemplate the universe
I usually somewhere during the week
would make a mix-tape
and bring it along so I didn't have to search the shitty columbus and surrounding areas for something to make a soundtrack for my drive
something that would complete
the experience of a head full of good weed, the lonesome back roads of central ohio
and time just to discover who I was
with only the distractions I provided for myself
I bring this up
because for whatever reason
I would usually head north on these road trips
and be so baked by the time I got past delaware
that I would turn around and get home safely
a couple times I swear I was near cleveland
just on back roads alone
this just reminds me
that nowadays I don't really take the time to just explore my surroundings
that sometimes I fear change just a bit TOO much
there was a time I could bump a tape on repeat for a whole 3-4 hour road trip
and not get sick of the tunes
when things felt fresh and new
when just 15 minutes outside of town I was in the middle of nowhere
and this video/song Built To Spill - Car
in a period where I listened mostly to hip-hop
this stuck out like a clean needle in a haystack of crap
as something was just really good
it spoke to where I was
at the wanderlust
the need for change
and my general desire to find out who I really was
all the while getting as far as I was comfortable from the safe zone
of home and hearth or whatever
today I realized I'd have to drive 40 minutes
before I really felt like
I had escaped all the trappings of my surroundings
before I could really disconnect from all my worries
now don't get it twisted
I relish the fact that I am depended on
I enjoy where I am at most days
and I'm glad I don't need a joint or whatever anymore
to get outside of myself and connect with God
but sometimes I wish I could just get in the car and get lost
it wasn't always a bad thing.

p.s. fuck punctuation

p.p.s. cop this album