SHAMBLOG: What to talk about : Stream of Consciousness 2 Electric Boogaloo

SO..

It's been a hot minute since I let ya'll into the mind of Shamalam
what is there to say really
on august the 22nd I will have 4 years clean
off booze and other illegal drugs
so there is that
and that my friend is a good thing
still in the struggle to give up my newports
but
they are so tastily deathlicious
hopefully one day I will be entirely ready to say "fuck you cig's fuck you and yo momma"
until then
*smokes a newport*
on similar note not only are smokes super expensive
but
I smoke the most the most expensive brand
so as a person in recovery I feel even more stupid
but it does follow a pattern from when I was using
when I smoked bud
I only wanted to smoke the greeny green
when I drank
I only wanted to drink top shelf whiskey & bourbon
when I did other bad drugs
I only did that "fire"
similarly I can't stand other cigarettes
they just don't do the trick
I can't "feel" them
I think here
is another time
where I feel like
being overly analytical bites me in the ass
I wanna say
"hey I'm a connoisseur"
but really I think I'm just a snob
I always knew
that money DID grow on trees
and so that stupid fucking analogy
was a hard one for me to grasp
I want what I want when I want it
always have but hopefully will find a middle ground where I can say honestly
"I want this but I might not need it"
and keep shit moving